How To Be Your Own Best Friend (And Have One For Life)

We all have had someone we call “best friend”, right? And of course, they come and go. We meet new ones and then they disappear from our life (moved far away from us, lost contact, the relationship was not cultivated; the friendship finally died). It happens. If you still have one right now, that is great! Keep it up! Remember though that it must be a “give and take” kind of thing. You make the effort to keep in touch (even just by making a quick phone call to say Hi!) and your friend should do the same. The relationship survives as it is nourished regularly.

Now, have you ever considered of treating yourself as your own best friend? We have always thought that having a best friend means another person (not us!). “How can that be possible?”. You are probably thinking. The good news is, you can! In my book, (High Functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder: 50 Rules For A Happy Life. From a Mother Who Loves You Lots), it states that “Be Your Own Best Friend, But NOT Your Only One” (Rule Number 5). By the way, I am not asking you to abandon your best friend and say to them “I don’t need you anymore.” No.

You are your own best friend when you

Forgive yourself when you make a mistake and not being too hard on yourself. You extract the lesson from the experience and use it as a guide in order not to do the same mistake again. You making a mistake indicates that you are still breathing and living. Learn from it.

Give love and compassion to yourself. (I am not referring to self- love that is selfish and self-centred. This is when you think it is all about you, you, you, and the world revolves around you. Nope! That is not what I am talking about here). It is when you truly and deeply love yourself unconditionally in spite of for example, you lose your job (during pandemic, it is inescapable), make a wrong financial move which cost you money, failed to obtain your goal, taken the wrong path which caused shame and guilt. You pick yourself up again. You are down; you must get up! There is nothing down there. You lovingly encourage yourself by saying “I will rise above this. I will pass this test and I will become a better person out of this.” Despite of what happened, I can control my destiny because I am the master of my attitude!

Remember, you cannot give something you do not have. Give love and compassion to yourself, when you do, you will be able to give the same to others.

Addicted to Personal Development. Author of High Functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder: 50 Rules For A Happy Life: From A Mother Who Loves You Lot (Amazon.com)

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